The Gaze of Your Subculture

What do we mean when we say we're dressing for "ourselves"?

Sometimes I hear people who put significant effort into how they look say that they really only dress “for themselves”. I think this statement does mean something, but when taken literally the idea that someone who is explicitly into their lewk only dresses “for themselves” doesn’t make much sense. Fashion is a form of aesthetic expression. The act of intentionally selecting an outfit (and when I say outfit I’m including the hairstyle, makeup, accessories etc.), is a way of communicating with others through self-presentation. Constructing an initial context about who you might be or where you’re coming from before you even start an interaction, one which can’t help but be picked up on by those around you, even if only unconsciously. 

Sure, it may also, or even primarily, be a way of communicating with yourself— helping you to inhabit a certain mode of your personality, or to embody aspects of some archetype which inspires you, or to remind yourself of your value through the knowledge that you’re draped in beautiful and expensive things, or to raise your confidence by just knowing that you look attractive (to whom though?)

You might not care about how your outfit ultimately affects others, as in you’re probably not trying to look hot (or cool, or whatever you’re going for) as some sort of public service. Although I have heard that idea before—that we owe it to one another to make some attempt to positively contribute to the visual scene by dressing well—I don’t think this describes the motivations of most fashionable women. 

But even if it’s true that your motivation for dressing up is to create a certain feeling for yourself, an internal vibe, with no concern for how your fashion choices affect the visual experience of others, and no external objective (like hoping to get a date or a new friend), all of this self communication still requires you to be seen. I mean, how we dress kind of has to be for others because we can’t actually see how we look!

The energy we’re creating comes from the imagined gaze of others. We simply don’t put this kind of effort into how we dress when we’re home alone (and even if you do, I’d suggest that a lot of the pleasure you derive from it is coming from the imagined imagined gaze, what you imagine people would think if they could see you). And this imagined gaze is not constructed by us alone, it’s some distillation of the general cultural milieu we exist within. Maybe you feel powerful when you strut down the street in high heeled pumps, a classy trench coat and big sunglasses. But that’s only because you have good reason to believe that other people will think you look powerful, or at least that you would think you look powerful if you were viewing yourself.